“But I can’t throw that away!"

How often have you heard those words, sometimes even out of your own mouth?

Help is at hand.

For the so-called sandwich generation, the shocking piles of “stuff” may lie not only in our own houses, but also in the home of a parent. Along with trying to simplify our own lives, more and more of us are helping aging relatives sort through the treasures of a lifetime. When an empty-nest couple is downsizing from the family home, or there has been a death in the family, or it’s time for a seniors’ residence, we need to clear some space.

It would be hard enough if we just needed to organize and throw things out, but this is a far more complex challenge. People’s emotions lie in those boxes of photographs, old clothes and cherished gifts. Clearing away clutter and distributing possessions is an emotional wrench and a common complaint is, “I’m just overwhelmed.” Paralysis sets in.

This is where a professional organizer can come to the rescue. They will be sympathetic, but objective, listeners who can help us first, organize what we have, and then, decide how we can gain space without losing precious memories.

Karen Shinn, a member of Professional Organizers in Canada, says, “Everyone has their own values about what is sentimental and worth keeping.” Often over tea, Karen listens carefully to the mix of feelings and then works with the homeowner to discard unneeded items and to organize the rest.

Attitude makes all the difference. If we look at clearing out as a sad loss, it will be a painful struggle. Instead Karen suggests, “Lighten up. Hang on to your sense of humour. If you free a space, it creates a vacuum for new experiences to happen. Are you living to have, or living to become?”

Contrary to the bumper sticker, the person with the most toys does not win.

One woman unable to deal with the death of her mother kept her possessions in a storage facility for years, spending thousands of dollars in rent for items no one was using. Karen points out that we all pay a price for holding onto our “stuff.” Instead, we can choose to move forward into a lighter, freer life by releasing those vases, stuffed chairs and stacks of books.

Karen’s list of helpful tips includes the following:

1. First, toss out the obvious garbage so that you can see what’s left.

2. If you’re moving, even to a very small place, pack some decorative items to help your new home feel more familiar.

3. Take time to enjoy the memories as you sort.

4. Surround yourself with only things you love.

5. Wherever you live, use what you own – don’t save anything “for good.”

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