An Original Script or a Remake? It’s Your Choice!
written by Rosemary Davies-Janes

A cold winter weekend offered an ideal opportunity to engage in the popular seasonal sport of curling up on the couch with a cozy blanket, a remote control and a raft of “new release” movies. The films I chose were enjoyable and entertaining, but afterwards I found myself thinking—not about their storylines, heroes or villains—but about their predictability.

In a romantic comedy, it’s a sure bet that after some absurd and amusing antics, everything will work out in the end. The guy will get the girl, the estranged couple will reconcile, the girl will finally see that Mr. Right has been “right there” all along…

Dramatic movies are likewise able to resolve their characters’ issues and challenges in their 90 to 180 minutes of running time. The longed for child will be conceived (or delivered via another, likely or unlikely route), the delinquent father will make amends to his children, the hardened criminal will take responsibility for his actions, and/or turn to God, and/or turn in his ill gotten gains, and/or enlighten another inmate… Creative angles abound, but they are mere variations on these very consistent comedic and dramatic themes.

While we can learn a lot from movie characters’ experiences and discoveries, it’s useful to notice the indelible impressions that these carefully constructed, lavish productions make on our thinking, values and expectations. Considering how Cinderella’s story has impacted generations of women’s expectation of men, how are movie characters’ goals, values and beliefs influencing our own? Are our expressed desires truly the yearnings of our own hearts, or are they merely concepts adopted from movies, TV and advertisements? Are we allowing pop-culture to anesthetize our ability to think original thoughts? How can we tell?

After watching countless lives unfold on the big (or small) screen, many of us find that when real life shows up, loose threads and all, it feels like something’s wrong. It’s not “supposed” to be this way. Dad was not supposed to die before we had a chance to tell him how much we loved him. Our romantic hero is not supposed to marry someone else, much less stay happily married to them for a lifetime! Killers should not get away with murder—and yet they do. This discrepancy between real life and life as portrayed by movies, TV and other aspects of our popular culture can create serious cognitive dissonance for those of us who are unaware of its pervasive influence.

In Philadelphia in 2003, I introduced a new exercise into my Authentic Personal Branding workshops which required participants to describe their “dream lives.” They were asked, “If you had a magic wand and could recreate your life without time, physical, geographic or financial limitations, what would it be like?” This exercise graced them with magical creative powers while removing all limitations and constraints. While most participants were able to generate lists of socially acceptable desires (“A luxury home.” “A sports car.” “A million dollar jackpot.” “To be thin.” “To travel around the world.” “To be successful in business.” ), no one could explain why they wanted these things or what having them would do for them. A few even complained that the exercise was “too hard.” They were right! Surfacing our heart’s desires isn’t easy, but it is important, for although fiction can inspire original thinking, allowing mainstream cultural ideals to masquerade as our authentic desires can cost us our very lives. We can’t get back the years of effort and sacrifice we invested in getting “what we thought we wanted.”

To create exciting, fulfilling lives, we must first examine our soul-felt yearnings and distinguish them from the pre-packaged cultural ideals that we “buy into.” (Do you really want to find your soul mate – or are you happy on your own? Will you truly be happier if you are 20 pounds lighter – or have perfect teeth?) We need to develop the ability to tune out the razzle dazzle clamouring of our culture and tune in to the gentle murmurings of our hearts. By investing the time, the courage and the money needed to clarify our true desires, we can create lives that are incredibly personally rewarding. (Hiring a coach or therapist to support you in this work can be extremely helpful and accelerates the process significantly.)

Now I won’t pretend that hearing our hearts’ desires is easy, for we are as enmeshed in our culture as the peanuts in a Snickers bar are in the chocolate and caramel. But connecting with our desires is a positive challenge. In fact, if we want to live authentically; to make a difference; to fulfill our purpose; to find satisfaction, joy and true success—our very lives depend on it!

The yearnings of our heart fire the creative talents of our mind which ignites the passions and unimaginable potential of our spirit. These are our raw materials. When we work with these aspects of ourselves we begin to live our lives as the unpredictable, exciting adventures that they have the potential to be. Backing our desires with conscious intentions alters the “realities” of time and space by engaging the powers of manifestation. When we truly believe we can have what we want, we get to watch in wonder as synchronicities unfold, creating outcomes that far exceed our original expectations.

So by all means, enjoy movies and TV for their entertainment value and their ability to present new ideas and information, but don’t confuse their reality with your own. If you choose to live life as an independent producer, writing your original screenplay and directing the action as the story unfolds, you can. And if you are too cautious to venture from the known into the unknown and choose to live your life as the remake of a favourite film, there are many roles to choose from. So once you’ve selected your part and stepped into character, be sure to hire a good creative team, (writers, directors, producers, stylists, etc.) so that the story of your life continues to roll out on cue—for more than just 180 minutes.

Some Exercises for Authentic Living:

1. Look back to find times in your life when you were on top of the world, supremely happy and fulfilled. Write down as many as you can recall (minimum 3), then compare your notes to uncover common themes, consistent plot lines, and similarities among the other characters who were involved. What sorts of activities/people do you consistently enjoy? What sorts of challenges bring out your best, time and time again? Who and what brings you down/makes you angry/wastes your time? Understanding your own operating system enables you to differentiate “pipe dreams” from authentic and achievable dreams. (If you’re 5’ tall and curvy, you will never be a lithe leggy model, so make the most of what you’ve got!)



2. Make a list of everything that you have declared you want and feel is important to you. Prioritize the list. Now surface your heart’s desires by inviting your heart to expose its deepest yearnings. (You can do this by meditating, actively or passively, or by simply jotting down what surfaces on anything that’s handy. Be sure to stock up on soap crayons if you get your best ideas in the shower. Then put your notes together and see what emerges!) Add these new desires to your list and re-order, in terms of what is most to least important.



3. Take a trip into the future, to the end of your life. What do you want to be able to say you have achieved? What don’t you want to be remembered for?

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