Self Esteem   
By Lori-Ann Wesley, M.A., R.I.H.R., R.Y.T.
(Condensed from the original version)
 

It's no secret that self-confidence is very important to achieving success in any area of life. The thing about self-confidence is that it is very sensitive to our personal experience and is inherently instable. In other words, your self-confidence has a “snowball effect.” And it can snowball in a positive direction or it can snowball in a negative direction.

At the risk of over-simplifying a phenomenally complex process, what’s happening in your brain is that these snowball cycles “wear a groove” through the vast array of neurons and synapses. So, neurologically you are physically carving a path of least resistance through your brain. With enough reinforcement, you develop a reflex to certain kinds of stimuli. I call this negative programming. They are like old tapes that keep replaying in one’s mind.

Unfortunately, virtually everyone has been programmed from childhood with negatives that make us believe we can't do things that we are innately capable of doing. A lot of it is self-imposed programming. If we fail to do something perfectly the first time we try it, it is only human nature to begin to believe that we can't do it. We also receive negative programming from others that can greatly impact our self-confidence. We are told repeatedly as a child "You can't do this” or "You'll never be able to do that.” If we accept this programming – which, again, is only human nature – our self-confidence is weakened accordingly. 

Take a moment now to think back on your own life. Think about the things that you’ve been led to believe you cannot attain but that you know intellectually are entirely possible. Fortunately, when some people are told they can't do something, they refuse to accept that programming and go on to prove that they indeed can. For example: 

Beethoven's teacher said he was hopeless as a composer! 

Albert Einstein did not speak until he was 4, didn't read until he was 7. His teacher called him mentally slow! 

Sometimes we can remember where our negative self-talk comes from (ideas/ beliefs); sometimes we cannot. Remembering where these false negative ideas come from helps individuals reprogram old mental tapes. Placing these adopted ideas back where they came from, works on a subconscious level. I have found this therapy technique to be extremely useful in these situations. After all, we tend to accept that our thoughts are true whether they are negative or positive. 

There are dozens of techniques to help you build your self-confidence and self-esteem.  

These include: 

• Positive Affirmations
• Guided Visualization
• Mental Imagery
• Goal-Oriented Meditation
• Breathing Techniques
• Psychotherapy

Here’s one simple technique you can start using today that will help you initiate a virtuous cycle of improved self-confidence.  

Using Positive Affirmations to Build Self-Confidence

Positive Affirmations are carefully worded positive statements that you repeat to yourself and are designed to establish new thinking patterns in your mind. Using affirmations is a very effective way to build self-confidence. It seems simple – and initially it can actually be a little uncomfortable – but remember, what you’re trying to do is to wear a new groove in your brain. You’re trying to create a new path of least resistance and establish a positive reflex in your mind. And the best way to create a new reflex is through repetition of positive thoughts, images and feelings.  

When you repeat an affirmation: feel it, believe it, and know it! Put some positive emotion into it.  Emotion-backed programming is the most powerful and long lasting. Allow yourself to experience the feelings of joy, satisfaction, power and self-confidence as you do each affirmation. “Act as if.”  Positive self-dialogue such as this, helps develops a better relationship with yourself and in turn increases self-confidence and well-being. 

Another great way to use affirmations is to say them while looking in a mirror. Say them with feeling and soon you’ll become aware of how powerful your eyes are. It's said that the eyes are the windows of the soul. Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote that each of us carries in our eyes the exact indication of our rank. We send messages with our eyes that show how we think of ourselves and how self-confident we are. And that influences how others respond to us. The more our eyes bespeak self-confidence and self-esteem, the more other people are likely to hold us in high esteem.
 

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About The Author:
Lori-Ann Wesley is a (holistic based) certified psychotherapist, with an eclectic individual approach. Counselling is available for a variety of areas including family of origin, recovery, boundaries, depression, abuse, addiction, relationships, transitions, illness, grief, anxiety, dreams, higher purpose and some evolution. Methods of therapy include talk therapy, voice dialogue, body centered psychotherapy, psychodrama, chakra balancing, meditation and many other healing techniques. 

Website: www.holisticounselling.com