Alternative Parenting
By Jo-Anne Cutler

As many of us open ourselves to finding alternatives in many areas of our lives, from healthier food choices for ourselves and our families to perhaps learning more about the benefits of integrated medicine and more holistic methods of treating diseases, there is an area where we may also want to make an alternative choice, as a variety of experts suggest different parenting methods that offer to not only improve our capability of raising happy and healthy children but to also create new levels of harmony and connectedness in our families.

I don’t lay claim to being an expert, because for me, the interpretation would be that I know it all…and the fact is, I don’t! I’m learning and evolving everyday as a parent, as issues come up, wings are spread, independence tested, and the pendulum of mood swings back and forth; my children’s as well as mine!

What could be regarded as an alternative course of treatment for the disease of dysfunction observed in many families has introduced a new and wonderful energy of love and peace into our home.

It makes perfect sense that we will become the role models that we were raised by, as this is all we knew. The alternative parenting model that works for me, is where I chose to take all the wonderful traits that I was reared with and found a way to discontinue the cycle of ones that I didn’t like…especially as a child.

So I took a step back and observed myself from their point of view. Chances were that if I didn’t like being on the receiving end of yelling, control, criticism and judgment, it was a good bet that my kids didn’t either…and I was right!

I became consciously aware of what I had unconsciously become. By recognizing that I had been equally oblivious of the impact of my reactions and behaviours were, I found that acceptance, compassion and forgiveness enabled me to let go of any blame or resentment that I may have had.

The barometer is there, whether it be mirrored in the negative behaviour of our kids or in our own negative reactions, to see where we are, on a daily basis, on the scale of harmony and unconditional love within our homes.

I’m no different than any other parent, doing the best I can, and in establishing the goal of being the best parent I can be, involves taking baby steps, one day at a time, of being just a little bit better than yesterday…sometimes two steps forward and three steps back but inspired to always move forward again!

The word alternative can mean a different option or substitute; basically a choice. We all have the opportunity to make a choice to become aware of what we would like to keep and open our eyes to see what the existing struggles may be pointing to, and then make small or big shifts, here and there, on our way to creating our own individual alternative parenting method, not labelled as better than or worse than where we came from, just a different way, that works for us as parents, to raise happy and healthy children in a loving and peaceful home.

----------------------------------------------------------
 

About the author:

In addition to being a writer, Jo-Anne Cutler supports her vision of empowering and inspiring others to be the parents, teachers and role models the children of this world need them to be, by creating awareness as a speaker and a coach, offering programs as well as a monthly newsletter on how to keep all the great stuff we’ve learned from our parents while breaking the cycle of the, well, not so good stuff!