Thanksgiving is a time to give thanks, why not turn it into a time for gratitude and love?   
By Dr. Lise Janelle

As a former chiropractor for 21 years, I have seen how family gatherings during festival seasons increase the stress level in many people, even to the point of creating physical symptoms. Bickering about trivial matters, like the way a sibling passes the turkey at the dinner table, or how aunt Gertrude never cleans up after herself, or maybe how dad is too bossy, may not be the most enjoyable way of spending the holiday!

One of the fastest ways I have found to help create love and gratitude, which therefore creates more joyful family gatherings, is to do a technique that I coach my clients through called the Quantum Collapse Process ®. It is a great technique to help people open their hearts, but requires more in-depth explanation and coaching than I can do justice here in this article. Therefore, I have created a shorter yet powerful version of the collapse process for this purpose that I call the FedEx from the Universe.

Here’s how the FedEx from the Universe works:

First, you find out what the problem is with the person who is making you ungrateful (e.g. cleaning up after aunt Gertrude’s mess in the kitchen).

Second, you find out what the solution is to their problem (e.g. aunt Gertrude should clean up after herself, so you don’t have to).

Third, you look to where in your life you have the same problem (e.g. where is it that you have a mess that someone has to clean up for you? For instance, it could be in a relationship or at work).

And fourth, you apply the solution you discovered to their problem to your own problem (e.g. find out where you are creating a messy situation at work or in a relationship, for example, that you could handle in a more responsible way to begin with).

I guarantee by doing this exercise you increase your gratitude towards that family member, because it stops the “self-righteousness” that was creating the emotional charge, that was pushing your button. When we find out exactly where we are doing the very thing that we dislike about them, it humbles us, and humility is the first step towards opening the heart.

Once you discover where in your life you need to apply the same solution to “their problem” you become grateful. You become grateful because you transform an annoyance into a helpful “FedEx messenger” of solutions to your problems. This technique will enable you to fast-track getting what you desire in life.

In one of the seminars I teach, I ask the participants: “If you had 24 hours left to live, what would you do?” After asking this question for more than 13 years, I discovered most people talk about spending time with loved ones and giving thanks for all the experiences they had together. Most people realize if there were only 24 precious hours left to live, they do not want to spend it rehashing the unimportant stuff, and that they want to pass on with love in their hearts -- as opposed to bitterness.

So the next holiday, when you are considering getting together with your family, or not, think about what you would do if this was the last time you would ever be together. It will help you be more grateful for what you have, and think about what is truly important.
 

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